Archive for March, 2005

…to know me better…

Friday, March 18th, 2005

…to know me better…

i born with name sely martini… sely from my grandpa-my father side, his name is syehali… and martini is from my grandpa-my mother side, he said that i born in march and tini is nick name for women in sundanese culture… tini mean the beloved women… so i m beloved women who born in march… i like my name… so simple…  but, sometimes people from west or someone who like west civilization… martini is their drink… i dont care coz actually they love it to drink…

if you looking for me… you can find me @

ym id: selym97 or http://www.friendster.com/user.php?uid=5194558

but if you ask me who you are… i will aswer:

I am Sely Martini, I am Free, Kind and Responsible Women…

it sound so narcis… but i want to be that women… the one who fell free to fly… has no sand in her shoes… very kind to others… and very responsible in her life…

can i be that women? it is part of my dream… and i believe i can reach my dream…

i used to be a cheerfull women, always talk… talk… and talk…

i talking to anybody about my self… bout my secret… i trust everyone… till someone treat me bad coz of my careless life… i feel bad bout it… i loose him… i loose brotherhood… i loose everything i love… i hate him…

but then i think to see the world in different way… the other way around… very different from i was before…

i try to be silence… and then i love it… i get more knowledge… coz i learn to listen… i think silence makes me a better person… coz i spend more time to listen to others… and i got new view… new knowledge… new idea… how people deal with their life… and that is a new input for my life… i learn from other experiences…

i try to see the other person who always critized me as volunteer friends… yup, they be the one who voluntering to give their energy to looking for my fault… so, it make me easy to evaluate my self… i think their are true friend… even i dont like being critized… maybe in the first time i hear it… i will be upset and then i will feel blessing coz  then i know my fault… but i dont like prejudice… in my religion prejudice is a sin… but sometimes people dont realized to make it… coz it play zone is in our mind… i dont like people throw their prejudice to me… but the important is i dont throw it to others…

so, after i change my point of view… i feel different… when i found sand in my shoes… i change my shoes… and then start to run again… run to reach my dream…

so simple isn’t it?

yupe, i m a simple women with complicated mind…

i always try to get what i want… sometimes it is not so hard for me to get what i want… the Almighty always give me what i want… thank to You, God… i always lucky… or maybe always feel lucky… it has no different for me… i feel happy with it… no burden…

i always try to make my self happy… so selfish isn’t it? but i have to take care of my self… if i put my self in bad condition… and i feel not happy so who else will do it? if i am happy… i will smile… i will have energy to help other… or minimaly i will not make trouble… and you will happy isn’t it?…

lets stop here… stop talking bout my self… it time for me to listen to you…

how are you? what are you doing?

*****

….dream….dream…

Thursday, March 17th, 2005

my nanny said… " if you have black spot on your feet… you will go abroad… it is only an ancient proverb… of course… but the one thing that can make you not only go abroad but also go anywhere you like… borderless… you have to have capacious forehead… to open your mind and put your dream in it… and you will fly anywhere… dream doesn’t have border…"

my nanny always said that… i dont know why… maybe it is an aswer for our cubical house… we need to feel free… maybe our body dont feel it physicly but we need the feeling anyway… the feeling to feel free… fell free to have a dream

yup… i growing up with that feeling… that s why my feet has no anchor… they go anywhere my mind want it… to reach my dream… thank to God, The Almighty, who always gives me lucky… lucky to feel happiness for each choice i made…

when i was a little… i dream be an angel… with two white wings… fly to the one i love in one eyes flicker… flip…flip…

hmmm… dreamdreamdream

dream… the only precious thing i have… that s why i always keep it… keep to have a dream… yup, dream is the only precious thing i have…

wealthy? i dont have it… i not born in golden coin family… i born and growing up comfortly in my mother golden arms… the golden lullaby… love and care…

pretty? i dont have it… i m not cover girls… or the other pretty mainstream girls… i like the color of my skin… i dont need bleaching cream… God give me more… more pigment in my epiderm… i m blessing with it… i dont need contact lens to make my eyes bright… coz my eyes are bright… as bright as my spirit to reach my dream… i m not tall… i m small enough… so, my lover will easily hug me…

clever? i m not clever enough… i dont get Ganesha Prize… or even cum laude… but i m clever enough to choice clever friends… so i always get good partner to discuss and debate… i m clever enough to know my position in my community… to be the part of enlightment…

dreamdreamdream

i have a dreamdream world take me fly to the peaceful place… to the place where no one hurt… no weapon… no greedy… no violence…

dreamdreamdream

i have a dream… and i will keep to have a dream

dream… the only precious i have…